Anyone who has endured a long road trip with a bored sibling in the backseat is likely familiar with the “I’m not touching you” game.
This is the game where the instigator continually comes as close as possible to touching the intended victim without actually touching him or her.
It’s an intentional attempt to provoke an angry outburst that will get the tormented sibling in trouble once they reach the end of their patience. Typically, the authority figure in the vehicle will focus their corrective action on the one who snaps first.
What makes this particularly sinister is the air of supposed innocence maintained by the one doing the tormenting.
Believe it or not, some adults still play this game for political reasons.
They offer steadily increasing provocations to those who are minding their own business and when someone finally responds with anger, the instigator immediately plays the victim.
At that point, the instigator appeals to an authority figure, usually the state, to punish those who have been goaded into responding.
In this sense the action they seek is dependent upon the reaction of their target.
Denying the provocateur the reaction that he or she is desperately seeking is the wisest course of action, in most cases.
But that can be hard to do if we’re not secure in our understanding of what is right.
Keeping our cool when someone is trying to provoke us is one of the surest tests of our character and our convictions.
The Provocateur's Game