Disagreement is a fact of life, no matter how carefully we may tread.
But that doesn’t mean that we can’t handle differences of opinion in productive ways.
When we find ourselves fundamentally at odds with someone, that’s a good time to step back and evaluate what ‘winning’ is worth to us.
Our ego may crave the bragging rights of having bested someone in an argument but that requires us to see others as an enemy to demolish.
That’s when we need to ask ourselves what exactly we hope to accomplish by arguing.
Are we bringing more light or simply heat to the discussion?
Anytime we find ourselves using shame or anger in attempting to sway others to our point of view, our goal is usually control rather than a desire to help them discover truth.
If we are coming from a place of sincerity and genuine concern for the other person, it may be better to humble ourselves and say, “I love you more than I need to be right.”
This losing the need to win can de-escalate the situation while allowing the other person to come to the truth on their own terms.
No, it’s not as satisfying as a good old verbal throw down.
But if changing minds is our goal, we have to be willing to plant seeds and allow them time to sprout.
Our efforts to be a light in the darkness must be motivated by something more than a desire to dominate others.
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